About one out of two marriages will end in divorce, according to divorcerate.com, and the odds are even worse for second and third marriages.
Pro se means do it yourself. More than half of all divorces involve no attorneys or attorneys only for one side. You are not required to have an attorney in a divorce. The Montgomery County Commission for Women in Rockville, Maryland, is a great place to obtain information about pro se divorce in Maryland for a nominal cost. Here is a schedule of seminars for July and August.
You can find out more about filing your own divorce plus legal forms:
Here’s another typical divorce scenario. The husband is very successful in business as a result of his ability to control his environment. Because this works for him in the business world, he tries to apply the same tools at home with his family. But most people do not like to be controlled in social situations. Eventually the relationship breaks down.
“If you’ve only been married once, you just don’t like people.” — Anon
Spend a day like I did yesterday in District Court in Rockville, Maryland, listening to petitions for protective orders and peace bonds, and you will be depressed about human nature. I sat through cases about late night telephone calls, curses, threats, pulling hair, hitting walls, shoving, pushing and more. Argue all you want, but when it crosses the line to threats and physical abuse you will get in a lot of trouble real fast.
After you have been a divorce lawyer for as long as I have, 30 years or so, you begin to see some patterns in your cases. There will be about a million divorces this year. And the majority of them will be filed by women. Men and women handle their relationships differently. A woman monitors the relationship, and if she becomes concerned about it, she tries to fix it. To a man, this may seem like complaining. A man might react to it by withdrawing. Neither party’s needs are met. The woman may suppress her feelings, in hopes that the man will change. Finally, the wife believes she has only one choice for happiness which is separation and divorce. The man is often caught unaware by this, and even if he tries to change now, it is too late. Click on the title to read more about the Walk Away Wife Syndrome.
In their separation agreement, Mr. Moore promised to pay his wife alimony for seven years. They both agreed that alimony would be non-modifiable by the court. But the wife remarried before the end of the seven years. Mr. Moore stopped paying support. His reasoning was that Maryland law provides for termination of alimony on marriage. His wife argued that the non-modfiable clause in agreement should control.
The Maryland Court of Appeals agreed with the husband. It said that if the parties wanted something different than the law in their agreement they could have said so. As for the non-modifiable provision, the court said that modification was not termination, although the two dissenting judges said that it was the most radical type of modification imaginable. Moore v. Jacobsen, 373 Md. 185, 817 A.2d 212 (2003).
Many agreements do not have a cohabitation clause. In such a case, would the court terminate alimony upon cohabitation instead of remarriage? Probably not although no one has tried it yet. While there is case law that says alimony may be modified on cohabitation based on economic considerations, it is not a termination event in the Maryland statute.
In a recent U.S. Tax Court case, my client had signed a separation agreement that said certain payments by her husband would be treated as alimony. However, she did not report any of the payments as income and the IRS was coming after her for taxes for several years.
The agreement provided that the husband would keep the marital residence and buy the wife a new house. The husband paid the mortgage on the new house. The mortgage payments were characterized as support and alimony.
I argued that these payments did not meet the tests for alimony set forth in IRS Code Section 71. Alimony must terminate on death of either party or remarriage of the payee. Since the agreement was binding on the heirs, and it said in no event would the wife have to pay the mortgage, the husband’s obligation to pay the mortgage would survive his death or the wife’s death. And the wife had remarried twice already, but the husband continued to pay the mortgage.
The IRS argued that the parties’ agreement said it was alimony, but the Tax Court has ruled in the past that it does not matter how the parties have characterized the payment in the agreement — the statute controls as to whether it is alimony or not. Don’t feel too bad for the IRS though. They can still go after the husband for the tax. The reason for Section 71 is to prevent high income tax payers from turning a tax free property settlement into deductible alimony.
He is also the author or co-author of the following books which are available at Amazon.com:
- Fathers’ Rights: The Best Interest of Your Child Includes You
- File for Divorce in Maryland, Virginia and Washington DC
- Money and Divorce
He has been selected by Washingtonian Magazine and Maryland Superlawyers as one of the region’s top divorce lawyers.
Mr. Gross is a practicing partner in the Chevy Chase, Maryland law firm Thyden Gross and Callahan. He is the author of the blogs Maryland Divorce Legal Crier, The Daily Answer Desk, and Not Just Every Other Weekend and the e-mail newsletter In the Courts.
Mr. Gross is a seasoned and experienced divorce lawyer and eminently qualified to answer your questions, provide legal assistance, and to speak with authority on divorce, child custody issues, child support, property distribution, alimony, and family law topics.
We know that you will enjoy reading his insightful commentary and thoughtful blog postings.
UIFSA works together with FFCCOA to created one controlling support order for alimony and child support — one order, one time, one place.
To accomplish this, UIFSA establishes priorities to determine which state has continuing exclusive jurisdiction over a support order.
The state with continuing exclusive jurisdiction is the only state that can modify a support order.